You go through a tough break up, and you guys needed some time apart. Now it has been awhile since the breakup and you are wondering where should you go from here. Can you be friends with an ex? That is what a lot of people want to know. Being friends with your ex has a lot of pros and cons.
Sometimes it is good to be friends with your ex and other times there is just too much damage done in the relationship. Can you really go from being in love to just being friends? Well lucky for you I have the answer to those questions. The pros and cons that I am about to mention will help you decide if you and your ex should be friends. It is really up to you, but these pros and cons will help you make a wise decision.
The Pros of Being Friends With Your Ex
There are some pros that you should consider when you are trying to figure out if you should become friends with your ex. Here are my top 5 pros of becoming friends with your ex:
- They Know You
One of the pros about being friends with your ex is that they know you really well. They know what makes you laugh and cry. If the relationship did not end on a bad note than it would be a good idea to be friends with them. Your ex can give you advice that other people can’t because they know you so well. There is no mystery or trying to get to know each other again because of the time that you had with each other. Your ex knows you so well that it may be easy just to be friends without carrying the baggage of your relationship.
- Make Amends
When you break up with your ex, you may not talk about some feelings that you had about what happened between you too. Being good friends with your ex gives you an opportunity to talk about why you broke up. You get to say things to each other that you probably would not have said when you were dating. When the seriousness of your relationship is removed, it is easier to talk to your ex about what actually happened.
- You Get To See A New Side of Them
Now that your relationship is out of the way you may begin to see a different side of your ex. Things that they may have hidden before may now show because you are not in a serious relationship. You may see them in a different light, and it can be really good for your friendship. There is no longer a reason to sugar coat your feelings or hide anything from your ex because you guys are friends now. The benefit of not sugar coating your feelings is that you can avoid getting into fights. Giving yourself a chance to see your ex in a new light can really help the process of letting your old relationship go, and it will help you start a new one.
- Shows That You Are Mature
Being friends with your ex can show that you are very mature. It takes a lot to realize that you and your ex are not meant to be in a romantic relationship. People eventually grow apart, and it is a great sign of maturity when you become friends with your ex and when you can move on from your past. The fact that you realize that people grow apart and that it may have been the wrong timing shows that you are mature.
- A New Start
The door has closed on your old relationship, and now it is time to open a new one. A new start gives you a chance to be friends with someone where you do not have to go through the awkward getting to know you phase. Your friends will not have to worry about being the third wheel because now you can all hang out together. You already know each others favorite color, hobbies, and favorite movies so having fun would be easy. Being friends with your ex-gives you a chance to start a new friendship and create new memories. There is nothing like a fresh start to heal the wounds of your old relationship.
Cons of Being Friends With Your Ex After A Breakup
Now you know some pros about being friends with your ex. Sometimes being friends with your ex is not always a wise decision. Here are my top 5 cons of dating your ex.
- Your Past Hurts Can Get In The Way
I mentioned in the pros that you can have a new start with your ex by becoming friends, but sometimes your past can get in the way. Your feelings for each other might still be there, and you might not be ready to become friends. If the two of you get into an argument, old feelings from the relationship that you had may come back into the picture. The reason why you broke up will determine if you can be friends with your ex. Otherwise, your past hurts will start to come back.
- Being Intimate
In your past relationship, you had moments when you were intimate with each other. Intimacy is one of the biggest cons that you should take into consideration. You may still have romantic feelings for each other, and you may still have intimate moments like kissing when you interact. It can be hard to separate friendship from intimacy when you are friends with your ex.
- It’s Hard to Move On
If your ex is not over you and still has feelings for you, your friendship can become very confusing. One of you may strictly want to be friends, and the other may want a chance to get back together. These feelings that you are both having for each other can end a friendship and a relationship for good.
Jealousy is definitely a big con when it comes to figuring out whether you should become friends with your ex. Your ex may get jealous of a new boyfriend or girlfriend you may have. Sometimes your new boyfriend or girlfriend can feel intimated by you being friends with your ex. In this case, it would be wise to leave your ex alone so that you won’t have ill feelings towards each other.
- Family Feud
Being friends with your ex is tough especially when you share the same friends, go to the same school and when you are close to their families. Your family was already planning your wedding with your ex and probably became very close to your ex so it would be awkward to be friends again. It is already tough to see your ex with your friends so you should not make it worse with their family.
It is ultimately your decision whether or not you want to be friends with your ex. Don’t let what other people say get in the way of doing what is best for you. Maybe you can become best friends with your ex or maybe you just rather stay away from them. Do what makes you happy and follow your heart.