What is a marriage pact? Marriage pacts have been around for quite a while. The definition of a marriage pact is an arrangement made between two friends that if they aren’t married by a specific age, they will marry each other. While many of these pacts are seen as a joke, some people take them seriously. Do they work? Who does them?
Reasons Why Most People Do Marriage Pact
- You can use the pact idea to set up the child with another.
Making a pact concerning marriage has been around as long as marriage. In Bible times, babies were betrothed to each other by their parents. This is a form of a marriage pact. Also, arranged marriages use the pact idea to set up the child with another.
- Marriage pacts can be with a group of friends who are in school
More often, you see marriage pacts come up with a group of friends who are in school together. As they look toward their future, they jokingly want a backup plan. They reach out to a friend who they like, but not romantically and they ask for a pledge. If we reach 30, and we aren’t married, we will marry each other.
- People Fear to Be Alone Sometimes
The reason most people would make a pact is that they fear to be alone. They want to believe they will grow up, marry and have a wonderful life. But what if they don’t? Making a marriage pact can give them a sense of security.
- Fate can bring the two of you together
Some people who believe in a marriage pact say that it could be fate that brings them together, or it is better to marry a friend than a stranger. 26% of people in a recent poll said they thought a marriage pact is a good idea.
- Arranged marriages due to culture or religion have proven to be successful.
Researchers have found that some forms of marriage pacts have been shown to work. Arranged marriages due to culture or religion have proven to be successful. Two people who share common core beliefs and values have a better chance of making the marriage work.
- Friends who fall in love and get married are destined
Friends who fall in love and get married are destined to have a good marriage. If you know someone well and have a history with them, you are better prepared for marriage. A friendship can see you through the difficult times and help you enjoy the good ones. The sad fact is that even if you marry your best friend, there is no guarantee that your commitment will last forever.
- Sometimes life is funny and you may end up with that person
If you find yourself a part of a marriage pact, whether it would be a joke or serious, just remember that sometimes life is funny and you may end up with that person. Just make sure the two of you have a solid friendship and that you like them. You don’t want to have the whole thing come back in the future and cause you regrets.
One of the things that sparked the debate over marriage pacts again was the movie, “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” Not to give the plot away but in this movie, two friends found themselves with different ideas of a marriage pact. When this movie came out, the stories of marriage pacts started being published.
Why You Shouldn’t Do marriage pact?
- Believe in yourself and your ability
You do not need a marriage pact to provide reassurance. You must believe in yourself and your ability to handle any situation. You should be self-reliant and not depend on other people to make you happy. Independence can be rewarding as well. Either way, you must trust yourself.
- Pacts can come back to haunt a person
Sometimes these pacts can come back to haunt a person. There was a person who wrote about this is an online blog. She said that she made a marriage pact with a friend in the 8th grade. Their agreement was that if they weren’t married by 35, they would marry each other. She went on to live her life and forget it. However, when she was 36, the young man found her on Facebook. He was single, and she was going through a divorce. He wanted to honor the pact, but she was not in the least bit interested. The situation turned into a stalker type nightmare.
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- Be careful with marriage people change and have troubled lives
You should be careful, even when you are young, about making a marriage pact. Some people change and have troubled lives. You don’t want them to come looking for you later in life. Parents should even warn their children about such things.
- .Some people say it’s not right to force feeling
People who do not believe in the pact say it is not right to force feelings or to go into a marriage commitment without love being involved.
- It might not be a good idea to force a contract into it
Marriage on its own is difficult so it may not be a good idea to force a contract into it. You should marry someone because you love them, not because of a long-ago promise.
- Know the ground rules before you do marriage pacts
Experts who advise about marriage pacts do outline some ground rules. They say it is important to detail the agreement once marriage is considered. Both of you should have a clear idea of what is expected in the marriage. Having a way out sometimes cements the commitment because the two people don’t feel trapped.
So, if you are contemplating a pact with your best friend about marriage, don’t take it too lightly. You want to make sure you like this person and you trust them to a certain point. You might also want to have an escape clause in the pact, just in case they turn out to be a stalker. Marriage is a serious commitment, and while we may joke about it, some people take it to heart. A nice guy or girl now could turn into someone completely different in the future.
The best bet is probably just to wait and find your future mate, the old fashioned way…by meeting them. You don’t want to be forced into a lifelong commitment with someone you aren’t attracted to. Just trust in yourself and fate to find your future spouse and you won’t have to worry about an old marriage pact.
Whichever way you decide to go; the most important thing is to take marriage seriously. It is good to have a sense of humor but take the business of marriage soberly. Trust yourself and you will not need a marriage pact for security. You can and will handle whatever circumstances you find yourself in.