A breakup can be one of the most devastating experiences one can go through. There is no better way of putting the pain of a breakup and no matter how much anyone can try to hold it back, it cannot be possible.
In the event it is not handled, it may lead to other ailments. However, there several things you can do after a breakup. This will help you heal from the pain rather than hold on to it. You may not be able to evade the pain but you can try to make it a little easier on you.
After a breakup, depending on how hard its effect is, the one thing you cannot do is pretend that it is okay. This will eat you up from the inside and the effects are far much worse than when you accept the situation and work towards healing. The following are things to do after a break up.Read this now: what to say to get your ex back ?
what to do after a break up ?
1. Take time and think through the relationship
It is not wrong to think through the relationship. In fact, you can do this on several occasions. However, this is not the same thing as obsessing over the matter. Thinking through the entire ordeal helps to come into terms with the current situation. Look at why the relationship ended up the way it did.
The more you consider the situation the more likely you will accept that there was a problem if not more than one. It is evident that there are good moments in every relationship but if the path was getting rough, it is better that you get out in one piece than dwell in a lost relationship. While experience is the best teacher, you will also identify areas that you need to look into when you get into any other relationship. Take as a teaching foundation that is for the better. Read Now: How to get over a break up?
2. Keep your distance/ space
After a breakup, it is important that you keep your distance. Sometimes, exes may decide to remain as friends but right after the breakup, it is best that you keep your distance. Keeping your distance is all about avoiding each other. No phone calls, no texting, no last time drinks, social media is also unacceptable, and definitely no checking on one each other. Remember, you broke up with for a reason and you both need to respect it. If you had moved in together, you are compelled to meet and do the necessary. This does not count as invading each other’s space.
The aim of keeping your distance is that it helps you heal better and sooner. It becomes harder to let go f you are going to keep reviving the old days when all you did was hang out and have fun. The probability is that you will end up in more pain than you are currently in.
Sometimes you probably live next door to each other, in such circumstances, keep any meeting very brief and civil and walk away fast. This also applies to persons who have broken up and work within the same office or building where they have to share space such as elevators. These situations may be tricky but small chitchat is not advisable. Otherwise, you should avoid meeting at any cost.
3. Retain your decision
As it gets difficult to leave, many tend to rethink their decision with the thought that things may get better or different given some time. It is important to remember that the decision to breakup was made with a reason. This is more so if the breakup was because of you. Even if it was not yours, second-guessing about the decision is not based on you. Many try to revive the good old memories to help their partner rethink their decision.
The good was good while it lasted but remember, that it got to the situation it has because things got out of hand. Playing this kind of games only leads to several breakups with the same couple. It is not worth it and it is best that once you realize thing are going wrong, it is time to abandon the bus before it comes down crashing.
This may sound harsh but the thought of getting back or thinking you made the wrong decision will traumatize you and even stress you. You must have thought about the situation before making the decision to end the relation and there must have been good reason to have gone down that path.
4. Talk to friends and close family
Sharing a problem has been said to solve part of the problem. While sharing your pain is a good idea, ensure that you are doing it with the right group of people. People who care and love you are the best group to be around after a breakup. You need the support, love, and affection of these people. They will always provide you with reason to feel better about yourself. No matter the situation, this group of people will always have your back.
There will be there when you cry, they will help get you out and about and they will remind you of your worth. With their support, you will get back on track in no time.Close friends and family are the best you got in this kind of situations. They will allow you curse on your ex and even support every statement you make as long as you feel better.
There is nothing as good as getting back up for whatever idea you have while at the same time comforting you. This is better than isolating yourself in an attempt to keep everyone away. This will only kill you from the inside rather than help you heal. Close family and friends will always lend you their ear and share the love rather than the pain.
5. Eliminate all memory triggers
In a relationship, there are items that tend to remind you of your ex. Whether it is a song, roll on or perfume, outfits to match, or any item that reminds you of your ex, it is best that you get rid of them. This is in an effort to help you stop thinking of your lost relationship. This items act like memory triggers and they will keep you holding to the past. After a breakup, it is best that you let the past remain as the past.
To help you get rid of any memory triggers, make sure you look at every room and take everything that reminds your ex out of the room. Rather than crash and destroy property out of pain, it is advisable that you simply put them in a box and seal it.
The reason you have to look at every room is that there are things that you may not be willing to let go. When you go to every room, just by looking around, you will be able feel the impact this items have. You will weaken or your stomach will turn just by looking at them.
Clear all the items and you will realize some relief. All you need to do is get these things out even for a while until your grieving period is complete. Remember, what is out of sight, is easily out of mind. Get rid of all memory triggers without choosing which is which. Anything concerning your ex is a NO NO and must leave at least until you heal.
6. Take on your hobbies/ favorite
This is the right time to take on your hobbies. This is because you are taking on the things you are good at. Many a times, your hobbies are activities you like doing and have great passion for. Whether you are good at art, swimming, playing some sport, dancing, singing, or reading, this is the best time to explore what you love doing.
It will be able to divert your attention from the breakup.Hobbies tend to engross you in them and it is best that you find a quite area to take on your hobby. For example, if you love art and drawing, get all your equipment and have a sit. Draw right about anything and allow anyone look at it. It will fulfill your internal desire and by the time you complete your drawing, your mind will want to draw more rather than go back to self-pity.
7. Take on an active life
In an effort to change your line of thought from your ex, it is advisable that you stop thinking about the relationship. In this, being active most of your time is one of the best solutions. Staying active includes exercising and working on other chores. The effects of staying active include improving your mood, alleviating depression, as well as diverting your point of attention. Taking on an active life will work off your negative energy.
If you are finding it difficult to get started on your own, you can ask a friend to help you out. Alternatively, you can sign in/ register with a gym where you can meet other individuals who are keen to exercise. You can walk or jog with the help of a friend or family if you cannot register with a gym. However, watch out that you do not over work yourself.
Many individuals tend to over work themselves as a result of letting out their anger. In this, it is advisable that you involve a third party who will motivate you and watch over you. You will also have someone to talk to ease out and relax.
Another thing to do after a breakup is to mingle. It is important that you stay around people rather than sulk away on your own. Just like remaining active, this also redirects your mind from self-pity and gets your mind off your relationship.
Get to meet people, attend weddings, and attend birthdays and every possible event that comes your way. In these types of gatherings, people you know will definitely be present. You will therefore have other ideas and topics to talk about. Meeting former schoolmates will always cheer you up.
As much as you should mingle and attend active events, it is advisable that you avoid events that you and your ex may meet at least until you heal and get over the relationship.There is a distinct difference between ending a relationship and getting over a relationship. It is only after getting over your ex that you can freely attend all events including those that you ex may appear.
This in mind, you can take on your groove on and mingle. Other people have a way of making the best of every matter even when they have no idea of your current situation.
Video tips of what to do after a break up
9. Avoid contact with your exes family
Some relationships rotate around are more than just you and your ex. They involve each other’s family member. If you are looking to forget about your ex and the impact they had in your ended relationship, it is advisable that you do not still stay close to your ex’s family. Either they will keep trying to get you back with your ex or they will despise you especially if they have the impression that you are at fault.
This however, does not have to last forever. Remember that all you are looking to achieve is peace of mind so you can move on with your life happily. You need to avoid anyone that may favor your ex and his or her family is one path you should avoid.
While everyone may deal with a breakup differently, there are things you can do after a breakup that you can adopt to help you heal better and faster. Whether or not you and your ex decide to remain as friends, the above are what you can do after a breakup.
These things will offer you comfort, peace of mind, as well as a gradual healing process. At the same time, you will be able to divert your attention from your pain and line of thought about your ex. The above guide offers you what to do after a breakup.