Breakups can be devastating and looking at the way forward to get your ex back can be somewhat blurred. Emotions are misplaced and you are not sure if you should stay friend with your ex or simply avoid it all and let bygones be bygones. The battle can be devastating. Unlike old times when all you had to do was call your friends and make every situation look better for you and worse for your ex, it has become rather difficult to do this with social media in our midst.
Everyone wants to believe that their ex is miserable without them and that despite everything, they still mean a lot. The urge to find out if this is true can drive you off the wall and it is the reason why many will start to keep tabs of their ex on social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp etc.
The healing process after a breakup requires some time to yourself. This time will differ from one individual to another depending on the underlying circumstances. The big question remains, is it wise to remain as friends on social media or is unfriending your ex a better option? Before settling on a decision, you need to weigh which works best for you as an individual. In addition, the circumstances of the breakup will act as a guide for you to make your decision on “how to get my ex back“.
Looking at these two reasons, you will be able to identify some advantages and disadvantages of retaining your ex as a friend on social media or unfriending them. To help you make your decision before you get out of hand, the following are advantages and disadvantages of unfriending your ex on social media sites.
Advantages of Unfriending your Ex On Social Media
- Saves on time and resources
You have no idea how much of your time you spend on social media on a normal circumstance. Imagine how much time you will spend trying to keep tabs on someone especially your ex best friend. It becomes an obsession if you try to add one plus one without the ones. In terms of resources, rather than getting on with your day-to-day activities, you find yourself neglecting them just to try and find out if your ex best friend is as uptight as you are.
The temptation is unbelievable and in just a few days, you are addicted to the very same person who you think is the last you should see. You will look at their daily status, their photos, you name it more often than even when you were all over each other. By simply unfriending your ex, you will not have the opportunity to keep glancing at their social media profiles as you simply cannot gain access to them even if you want to.
- Make believe becomes believable
After a breakup, it is sometimes comforting to know that your ex is probably regretting or miserable. By deciding to unfriend your ex, whatever you want to think will remain true to you. If you think they are miserable, then it is just that. Imagine hoping that they are miserable just to visit their profile on Facebook and find out that they are out with your mutual friends having a blast and since you are not in good terms, they chose you to stay out.
This is an advantage that works in the long-term to keep yourself together. You can simply motivate yourself and work towards other ways of improving yourself. It becomes all about you and your worries are less.
- Helps you to move on
According to studies, individuals are more likely to move on when they do not remain friends on social media. It is rather impossible to remain best friends with your ex especially if you broke up on bitter terms. The more you spy on your ex, the more likely you are still clinging on them. It is a clear sign that you are not over and it can be painful.
Rather than haunt his every move, why not spend some time with other people who will cheer you up. Keeping tabs on your ex may get your situation worse. Sometimes, exes use social media to try and win your heart all over again. They may try to rekindle the fire in the past by making obvious signs and comments so you can read them. If you are still hooked, this may be a positive thing but if you are through, it becomes advantageous to keep off so they do not get a chance to pull you back. The chances of moving on are higher.
- The initial flame dies out gradually
Keeping track on your ex on social media acts as a form of holding on to your past. You want to know where they are and who they are hanging out with. This makes it more difficult to burn out the flame. Probability is that you will end up more in distress every time you visit their Facebook or Twitter profile.
- The past remains a past
For the two of you to have broken up, something must have been terribly out of order. Either both of you or one of you ended up hurt and in pain. Unfriending your ex is more likely to keep these memories out. You can be sure that you will be retaining the memories every time you keep tabs on your ex through social media. You must have heard individuals constantly asking why someone they cared about would do such a thing to them even after they broke up.
Consider the possibility that you breakup and a few months later, your ex is crowding their wall with photos of their new girlfriend or them with your best friend. Remaining a friend will constantly draw you back to the pain and agony. Do not waste time there, unfriend them as soon as possible. You can evade curiosity from taking over your conscience
As the saying would go “curiosity killed the cat” and in this case, you are the cat. This is simple, the more you make follow ups, the more you are derailing your confidence and motivation. The healing process is difficult and it may be next to impossible to just slack away.
The temptation is high and more than usual; you will want to find out what is going on with your ex and “how can I get my ex back” . While asking around can be embarrassing and you may also want to appear strong and a don’t-care, the next option would be to spy through social media. Here, probability is that no one will find out you still have attachments. Though this may sound positive as you try to hide away, it feeds your conscience which leaves you more in emotional trauma. The best option would be to unfriend your ex and remain hopeful and optimistic.
- Leaves you with peace of mind
Peace of mind is the next big thing after a breakup. You want to feel relaxed. Breakups are different in nature but most of them do not end up well. Some exes become bitter and end up becoming a pain and thorn in your life. They start top post disrespectful status updates that are directed to you. Rather than keep up with these concerns, you can address the entire issue by unfriending them and starting on a new note. As long as you do not know what is going on anymore, you are more likely to have peace of mind.
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Disadvantages of Unfriending your Ex
There are basically very few reasons for unfriending your ex from social media sites. They all rely on the circumstance and it is evident that many reasons will bring more advantages your way. Depending on how you look at it, here are the disadvantages of unpretending your ex.
- It leads to misconceptions
Social sites are a social ground for both your ex as well as other friends to meet and chat. In addition, the probability that you and your ex have mutual friends is very high. During a breakup, it is obvious that your mutual friends will get to find out about it. Before revealing the reason of why the relationship ended as it did, there are theories that will start to go around the moment you unfriend your ex.
Friends are different and many will start to point fingers in any direction before making follow-ups. This can be devastating and for individuals who are not strong, it may turn to a point of depression. It is therefore advisable to unfriend after it is out with your friends before hell breaks loose as they decide to start playing a blame game.
- If you are not over each other
In the event that you and your ex are not over each other, unfriending him or her would not be a good idea. Misunderstandings are evident in relationships but before you rush to unfriend them, it is important that you take some time. In this circumstance, it looks childish and it may cost you a good friend in the long term. Depending on the reason for a breakup, do not rush to the final step. While you may be angry, you ex at the moment may still be the best thing that happened to you and reconciliation may be possible. Take your time and if it does not work out, go right ahead and unfriend your ex.
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Being best friends with an ex is rather difficult. There are reasons to this and sometimes it becomes even more difficult to even think about them. It is easy to pick your phone and delete their number but you need more than that if you are looking at getting rid of them. There are many modes of communication and if you do not want anything to do with your ex, you should also unfriend them on your social sites. You are simply getting rid of all modes of contact so you can move on with your life.