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8 Important Things To Consider Before You Date Your Ex

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Should you date your ex? That is a big question that many people want an answer too. You invested a lot of time and energy into your relationship before you broke up. You may still have feelings for your ex, but you may not be sure if you should rekindle an old flame. Many people have different opinions and mixed feelings about dating an ex.

Sometimes when you break up with your ex you may still have feelings for each other, so should you go down memory lane and try again? There are things that you should consider before you decide to date your ex. Here are eight important things to consider before you decide to date your ex:

Dating your ex again: 8 Things you must know

 

It Probably Won’t Be The Same

When you first started going out, you may have had a certain spark or fire in your relationship that brought you too together. Dating an ex again will probably not be the same as before. Pain can really affect people in different ways. When you break up with your ex, it causes a lot of pain and ill feelings towards each other. Although you may have reconciled and you are considering going out with each other again, your relationship may never be the same. You had probably made a promise, that you would never hurt your ex and that you care about them but when you broke up things changed. It is important to take into consideration that the spark and fire that used to be there may have died down.

What’s Done In The Dark Comes Into The Light

If you are wondering if dating an ex again would be wise you should take into consideration that the past may come back to haunt you. For example, if you cheated on your ex then there will always be some type of trust issue in your relationship. The previous mistakes that you have made in the past in your relationship will add tension to your rekindled relationship. Your ex may think if you did it before you may do it again.

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Some People May Not Support Your Relationship

Although you may have rekindled the love that you have for your ex, your family and friends may not support you. It is not that they don’t want you to be happy. They just don’t want you to get hurt again. Your friends and family saw all that you went through during your breakup, and they don’t want the same thing to happen again. You can’t blame them for being concerned because your ex broke your heart. Before you decide if you should date your ex again, you should consider what your family and friends may think. It would just make it harder on the both of you if you do not have the support from your family and friends.

You are familiar with each other

I have talked about some downfalls of dating your ex again, but there are some positives. One of the greatest things about dating your ex again is that you guys are already familiar with each other. You know there favorite food, their secrets or you can tell when they like something or don’t like something. You know what really pisses them off or what makes them happy or smile. You know how each other’s mind works and that can be a great reason to get back with your ex.

Start A New Adventure

One of the most exciting things you can do when you get back with your ex again is to start a new adventure. You should shake it up a little bit and try new things. Some places can be sentimental or can create memories that you probably don’t want to remember to try a new spot or start a new hobby together. If you are willing to make a change, I think it is worth it to date your ex again. Trying something different can make the rekindled relationship seem brand new again which can help heal past hurts.

You Are Always Suspicious

Starting your relationship over can create a lot of doubts in your mind. Depending on the reason why you may have broken up, you could build a wall up from your ex which can be hard to tear down. This is normal for all relationships, but it is more common when you have a bad breakup. It is not that you do not trust your ex, its just you do not want the same thing to happen to you over and over again. This can be an enormous test to see if you should be dating an ex again. You should feel comfortable in a relationship, if you do not feel comfortable, then you should not date your ex.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Now that your feelings are out in the open because of your breakup, you can hear things straight from the horse’s mouth. All of the feelings that you have had inside can now be brought to the table. You are more honest with your feelings when you break up with an ex because the truth always comes out through heartbreak. This is a good reason to get back together with your ex. If you can share your feelings with each other, it is worth rekindling that flame again.

They Realize Your Worth

Finally, they realize your worth. This is the most important thing to consider when you want to get back with your ex. They realize when you had left out of their lives how much value you truly were to them. They regret the things that they never did when they had the chance to. They have realized what they did wrong, and they know if they would have given you the love you needed or appreciated you more than maybe you guys would have never broken up. Now things are different. They see how much you are worth. There are no more games and no hidden feelings. Everything is out, and the open, and they are willing to give you another shot. That is a great reason to get back with your ex.

Should you date your ex? I hope I answered that question for you. Love can be a very beautiful thing but can also be very fragile. Dating your ex again is really up to you, but these things that I mentioned are things that you should consider. Never make an irrational decision. Follow your heart and listen to your intuition and figure out if that flame is worth lighting again.

How to Make Your Ex Miss You And Really Want You Back

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Getting dumped is not fun. Regardless of the reason why you broke up you probably wish that your ex would miss you. You probably want revenge for the stuff that happened between you and your partner but that is not always a good idea. If you want your ex to miss you so you can get back together or if you want your ex to think about you, you may be successful with these eight tips.

Relationships can sometimes be complicated but absence does make the heart grow fonder, and maybe your time apart will make that person miss you. There is a lot of advice on how to make your ex miss you. Following these simple steps that I listed below will give you the help, you need to get your ex to miss you.

8 Ways to make your ex miss you and want you back

 

1. Do Not Contact Them

When you break up with someone, you should not contact them for a good two weeks to a month. Making the first move of communication can indicate that you miss your ex. You do not want to show that you miss your ex because that will ruin the total plan of making your ex miss you. When you first break up with your ex, they would expect you to contact them first. After some time has passed your ex may be wondering where you are at or get angry because you have not initiated conversation. They may think that you have probably already moved on. The longer you wait, the more your ex will miss you, and he or she will eventually get in touch with you.

2. Make New Friends

Making new friends can easily get your ex back and it is also good for your mental health. You are getting over a terrible breakup, and you would have a lot of different emotions going on at the same time. For that reason, it is not wise to hang out with friends in the same circle as your ex. Your ex could be thinking that you are trying to get closer to him or her through your exes friends. Making new friends is a perfect solution for how to make your ex miss you. Get a new group of friends and have some fun and he would think that you have moved on. You know the saying people want what they can’t have.

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3. Get A New Look

I am not talking about getting a new makeover and strutting down the runway. Getting a new look is simple. All you have to do is get a haircut or just wear a different type of clothes. Wearing a new jacket or dress can easily give you a new look. Your ex will become jealous of your new looks because all eyes would be on you. You will gain a lot of confidence by getting a new look, and your ex will miss you more because it would seem like you are not focusing on them. It is important not to go overboard when it comes to getting a new look, just add a new accessory along with a new attitude and your ex will be in contact with you in no time.

4. Don’t Call or Text Your Ex

Previously I mentioned that it is important not to have contact with your ex for two weeks to a month. If your ex decides to make the first move and it is too soon do not text your ex or call your ex back. Your ex might be calling you to see if you still have feelings for them or your ex might be looking for a temporary fix. Your ex is probably still hurting and needs to hear your voice, but it is best not to talk to your ex. The longer you drag out the waiting period, the longer your ex will miss you.

5. Do Not Stalk Your Ex

One way to make your ex not miss you is to stalk them. Not only is that a little creepy but it can really turn off any possibility of you and your ex working things out. You are not giving you or your ex space, and you will look desperate. Stalking includes cyberstalking, knowing when he or she leaves, following your ex around the city and calling your ex at 4:00 am. The healthiest thing to do is to leave your ex alone. Remember, you will push your ex away if you stalk him, so the best thing to do is to not be there.

6. Don’t Do Things For Attention

Making your ex jealous can be to your advantage, but when you overdo it, you would seem desperate. Don’t date any of your ex’s friends because that would just look like you are trying to get back at him. If you want to make, your ex miss you make sure you keep your distance. Getting his attention the wrong way will only make things worse for you and your ex.

7. Don’t Put Your Sadness On Display

I love social media, but it can also have its downfalls. When people break up with their ex, usually the first thing they do is make a post about it on social media. Don’t do that. Your ex is most likely keeping an eye on your Facebook page, so do not let your ex know that you miss them. Don’t even mention the breakup on your social media page. Eventually not talking about your breakup and not talking about how much you miss your ex will make him or her miss you.

8. Take Care of Your Health

Most likely when you break up with your ex, you probably want to indulge in junk food and not take care of yourself. You may get depressed and forget about your health. Focusing on your health and fitness will make your ex miss you. Your ex may see how good you look and will miss being with you. Taking care of your health will also make you feel better in return and would not make you feel so depressed about the breakup.

Video tips on how to make your ex think about you and need you back

How to make your ex miss you require the right strategy. My number one rule when it comes to a breakup is to not get revenge because you are hurt. You can do things to make your ex miss you but do not hurt them anymore. It takes some time to heal, and you may have ill feelings towards your ex. Don’t forget that your ex is hurting and your ex may truly miss you, without even doing anything. These tips will help your ex miss you but remember not to do anything to put a strain on the relationship.

What are the Benefits of Marriage – 6 things you must know

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Even though it has been widely published that at least half of marriages fail today, there are also respected studies that show marriage can benefit both partners. Some feel that marriage is an outdated idea that has outlived its usefulness, there are many supporters of the age-old tradition. So, what are the benefits of marriage? Let’s take a look at some proven advantages of being married.

6 Proven benefits of marriage

 

1) Married People are Healthier

Individuals who are married live longer, according to research. Unmarried men die at a rate 250% greater than men who are wed. Single women die at a rate that is 50% higher than women who are married. Also, single people tend to need more recovery time in the hospital after surgery than those who are married. Being married can also decrease your risk of cancer and add ten years to your life expectancy.

Mental health also seems better when you are married. Men who we are half as likely to commit suicide as single men. Men and women who are married report to being less depressed and stressed, as 40% say they are content with their lives, while only 25% of single people report being satisfied. Men who are single drink twice as much as their married counterparts.

Married men and women report fewer health problems and a greater contentment with their life circumstances.

2) Better Sex Lives

A recent study shows that more than 40% of women said their sex life was physically and emotionally satisfying. Only 30% percent of single women find their sex life to be that good. Married men are at an even higher percentage with 50% of them being satisfied, compared to 38% of single men.

Experts say that the permanency of marriage enables couples to worry less about being jealous than about how to improve their physical relationship. Marriage provides a sense of security that enhances intimacy and confidence.

Research also shows that people are married younger in life tend to have fewer sex partners and less regret about past sexual experiences.

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3) Better Financial Outlook

Two people who are married have a financial benefit over those who are single. Household debts can be shared by two people working toward the same goals. Homes, furniture, cars, etc. can be divided by 2 to pay off items faster and easier.

There is also more financial security in a marriage because if one person becomes ill or loses their job, their spouse can pick up the slack. This gives the couple more freedom in choosing or staying with specific careers.

Married people also tend to save money for the future as they pool their resources for long-term goals. This was teaming up benefits the entire family.

4) Protects the Family

The formality of marriage protects children legally and emotionally. Children who come from a broken home are more likely to commit suicide, face poverty and suffer from depression. A family that has a substantial commitment from the parents learn to work through issues and to develop a security in their home life.

Healthy families mean strong communities, states and ultimately more powerful nation. Our country was built on the idea that nuclear families would be intact and therefore be strong supporters of education and community welfare.

Children who come from broken families are much more likely to face divorce in their future. Also, children who come from divorce tend to resent or lose contact with one or both of their parents when they reach adulthood.

5) Marriage Makes You Safer

Being married lowers the danger of violence for men and women. A recent study from the Justice Department shows that bachelors were four times more susceptible to be victims of crime than married men while single or divorced women were five times more likely to become victims of violence than married women.

Couples who take the extra step of getting officially married, as opposed to just living together, tend to establish a safer home and environment for themselves and their children. Homes with a man living in them are less likely to be targeted for invasion or theft.

Women who are married are less likely to be victims of domestic abuse than single or divorced women. Although there are occurrences of a husband being batterers, the highest risk category is women with boyfriends or cohabitors.

6) Sense of Security

As already stated, being married provides both partners with a sense of security. In addition to this safety, partners share emotional and intellectual bonds that fulfill the need for intimacy. Married couples often share common interests and groups of friends.

Married people tend to care for each other in a more permanent way. If one spouse becomes ill, the other becomes the caretaker, even to the point of long-term care. Marriages provide support and ensure better medical care for families in general.

Marriage provides a sense of continuity in the family life. Holidays and special occasions can be celebrated all together while future generations of children will benefit from the legacy of a parents’ strong marriage.

As you can see from the things outlined above, marriage has become a time-honored tradition for a good reason. The institution of marriage provides benefits not only the spouses involved but for their children and community. The sanctity of marriage has been questioned and challenged over many years but the fact that we all know people who celebrate their golden anniversary proves the value of the tradition.

The legal and moral definitions of marriage have been under scrutiny for the last decade. Different groups of people have debated the rights of all to be married. No matter what the outcome of the challenge is, marriage will remain a cornerstone of our society. The security and stability of marriage have survived some of the worst scenarios, but as research has proven over and over, marriage is a benefit and a privilege of many.

The Pros And Cons of a Double Date – Why you should or shouldn’t do it

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We have all heard the old saying, “there’s safety in numbers.” Does that logic apply to date? Double dating is popular among certain groups of people today. Supporters of group dating say that it promotes strong relationships and is just more fun. There are some detractors who don’t think double dates are a good idea. Let’s look at the Pros and Cons of double dates.

Pros of double date – 5 Things you should know

 

1) Eases the stress of first dates

We all know the stress and worry of that first date with a special someone. We worry about what to talk about and awkward pauses in the conversation. What if we don’t like the other person as much as we initially thought? Double dates provide a cushion to ease some of this concern. If there is a pause in the conversation, the other couple can fill the gap. If you and the other person don’t hit it off, you can depend on the other couple to help salvage the night.

2) Let’s you get to know your date’s friends

Many times, a couple double date with friends. If you and your date have mutual friends to go out with, this is a big bonus. You will learn more about your date from the friends and the entire atmosphere of the evening will be more comfortable. If you are going out with friends on your date, it helps you see what kind of people he/she have in their life. This can be very telling.

3) Safety

It is very true that dates with a group are safer than single dating; this is even more important if you don’t know the other person well. If you are just meeting someone for the first time, it is wise to double date with friends who will be there if you need them. A person is less likely to be too forward or aggressive if there are others around.

4) Double dating saves money

If a group of you go out, you will save money on gas as you can all ride in one car. You can also save by getting group discounts for concert or sporting tickets. As you all think about planning a date, look for ways to save money, and that’s makes everyone happy.

5) The more, the merrier

Let’s face it, more people usually equal more fun. A group of friends can make the most of a night out, with more personalities and ideas, you are guaranteed to find fun. Also, you can do things like play doubles in tennis or group card games.

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Cons of double dating – 5 opposite thing you must know

 

1) Causes more stress

If you are introducing your romantic interest to your best friend for the first time, a double date can be stressful. You want them to like each other and to approve, so you are understandably nervous. If things don’t go well, it could cause problems in both relationships.

2) Personality conflict

Every person is different, and it could be that if you team up with your friends for a double date…everyone might not get along. Sometimes people’s personalities just clash, and it isn’t much you can do about it. If this difference happens on your double date, the best thing to do is just grin and bear it.

3) Lack of privacy

Group dates don’t provide much time for intimate moments between people. If you are on a double date, it could feel awkward to show affection or be romantic with each other. There also may be less time to talk to just each other if it is a double date. Double dates are designed more for group fun and activity.

4) Double dates can cause men versus women problems

If you are on a double date, you can find yourself on the wrong end of a man/woman debate. The guys on the date start talking about “women” and using stereotypes. The ladies on the date then feel the need to defend themselves or vice versa. This can lead to a tension-filled time with the lines drawn in the sand.

5) Guy/Girl bonding

Double dates can cause guys and girls to drift toward each other instead of their date. Guys start talking about sports and immediately lose themselves in conversation, leaving the girls out. Girls bond over shopping and forget they are even on a date. These bonding moments are a risk you take when double dating.

So, is double dating a good thing or a bad thing? Just like most things in life, it depends on how you handle it. If you have bright ideas on what double dating means, you will have a real time. You should talk to your partner about the pros and cons of double dating and make a decision together. It might also help to have some ground rules to ensure success.

Double dates can be significant and create beautiful memories. It is up to the people involved to determine how well things go. Don’t just leave it up to chance to see how things go. Talk to your girlfriends or guy friends and decide how you will all handle the situation. Be aware of differences in personalities and goals.

If you are a younger date, parents feel more secure when you go out on double dates. The grown-ups know that the date will be less formal and more geared toward group activity. Parents feel better if you aren’t one on one with the boy/girl. Keep this in mind if you are trying to convince your parents to let you start dating.

How To File For Divorce – 11 Things You Must Do Before

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There are so many individuals who will tell you that marriage is not an easy thing to do, however, one of the most overwhelming things to go through, is a divorce. How to file for divorce can become a very stressful, emotional, and difficult process, and one of the most frustrating parts of it all is the fact that it differs from state to state.

If you want things to go smoothly when filing for divorce, then the best thing to do would be to research all of the necessary information that you will need, so you are able to be satisfied with the outcome and the ending results of your divorce. Make sure that you understand the entire process of divorce, and be prepared for how you are going to navigate through this difficult process as well. There is a lot of details to this process, and if you do not understand how to file for divorce properly, then you will end up with a very confusing amount of information.

Filing for divorce – How to really be prepared?

When it comes to beginning filing for divorce, there are several different types of things that you can do to be able to learn how to file for divorce properly There are several steps that you need to follow during the beginning and these steps include:

1) Figuring out where it is that you need to file

So, when you are getting ready to file, you need to be sure that you check with the state’s residency requirements. There are many states in which you need to live there for a certain amount of time to be able to file for a divorce in that state. So, to make sure that you are filing for your divorce properly and under the rules of the state, it is important to do as much research as you can in this area.

2) Prepare how you want the ending result to turn out

Just about anyone is aware of the fact that divorce can take many different types of forms, whether it be good or bad. In many cases, it is usually very easy to get the process going and end it on good terms, however, there are several cases in which it has ended badly for everyone and anyone who is involved. Therefore, whenever you are getting into this type of situation, it is prudent to have everything properly planned out, so you can end this difficult time, in a very positive way.

3) Prepare how you want the ending result to turn out

When you are planning to meet with your lawyer, one of the best things that you can do, is to be prepared on every detail you can about how you want the process to go, and to have a good amount of detail on everything that you are wanting to divide between you and your spouse. You will need to have all of your debts, and any of your assets organized and in the proper place.

4) Research and gather as much information that you can

If you have all of this taken care of, then when you begin to look for a lawyer, you will want to be sure that you look for a professional divorce lawyer. Taking this step is what is going to get your divorce process started, and set you on the right path on how to accomplish this properly and in the best way.

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Filing The Divorce Papers

The next step to follow will be the initial act of filing the divorce papers, and you need to be sure that this is done properly. There are also steps you need to take when you are trying to achieve this goal and these steps include:

5) Obtaining the proper forms

You will need to fill out the correct court forms, and you can do this by going to the courthouse, or online, and obtaining the forms that you need to begin the start of your divorce case. When you are starting your case, it is prudent that you have everything up until this point set in the proper motion and that you have the proper forms to start with.

6) Having the forms reviewed

Once your papers have been filled out by you, take them to your divorce lawyer, so that he can review these forms and make sure that everything is filled out correctly and that these forms are the ones that should be filled out. Your lawyer will know which papers are the ones that you need to handle this process smoothly, and you will want to make sure that you have them filled out properly.

7) Filing the proper forms

After you have done all of this, you will then take these forms to the courthouse and have them file them. Before you bring them to the courthouse, it will benefit you to make copies for yourself, make copies for your spouse, and then give the courthouse the original copies. Depending on which state it is that you are living and filing in, it will determine how much you will have to pay to have these forms filed.

8) Having your spouse served with the divorce papers that you have filed

The next part of the legal process is to have these forms served to your spouse, and this will notify them that a petition for divorce has been filed, and the court is not allowed to proceed with the case until these papers have been served. You can make a copy of the Proof of Service form, then have your lawyer to review it, and then file it with the court clerk.

Once you have gone through this entire process, you will then need to file financial disclosure forms, which helps you to make sure that all of your debts and assets are all split equally, and then have them served to your spouse.

Final process to successfully filing for divorce

When it comes to the ending of the divorce process, there are a few steps that you can take to finally tying up the loose ends. These steps include:

9) Having you and your spouse write up a mutual agreement

If you and your spouse have been able to get through the divorce process with ease and cooperation, then the next thing that should be done is to write up an agreement for any and all of your debts, your assets, and any type of child custody. Write out the agreement and have your lawyer make sure that it is legally sound, have the agreement notarized, and make sure that this is a mutual agreement.

10) Filling out all of the final forms of your divorce

It is important to be sure that you fill out any final forms of your debts, assets, child custody, and any other specifics that are regarding any and all of your situation. Like everything else in this process, it is important to be sure that you have your lawyer review this paperwork, so you know that it is filled out correctly, and then make copies of your forms and then have them filed with the court.

11) Receiving the judgment for your divorce

After they have reviewed the final forms, you will receive a judgment notice from the court that will notify you of the outcome of your divorce. This is the time in which the court will let you know if there is anything else, or any further steps, that you might need to take to finalize your divorce. So, after they have sent you the notice, once you receive it, this will let you know if you have completed everything that you have needed to, or if you are needing to complete something else before you may have your divorce finalized.

How to file for divorce require a lot of preparation. There is a lot of information that you need to be sure that you acquire when it comes to filing for divorce. There is so much information that needs to be researched and learned before you begin this process, and if you want the entire thing to go as smooth as you can possibly get it, then it is prudent to make sure that you gather the proper information that you need.

Divorce can be a difficult process to go through, and everyone who is filing wants the process to be as smooth and quick as it can, and the only way to do this is to make sure that you are learning the proper information and getting everything properly filed.

Life After Divorce: 11 Things You Need To Consider

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Life after divorce may seem gloomy and dark. Many people stay in bad marriages just because they don’t want to face being alone again. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing, though. Yes, there will be pain and loneliness after a divorce. You must give yourself time to grieve because a relationship has died. It is a bad idea to jump from a divorce to another link instantly.

11 Things to consider after a divorce

 

1. Divorce is not a life sentence

Some people feel that when their marriage fails…they have failed. They feel as if they have lost their one chance for happiness. Divorce is a transitional time in your life that must be dealt with. It comes with sadness and often regrets, but you won’t always be sad. There will come a day when you smile and laugh again.

2. Don’t blame yourself

Just like it takes two to make a marriage work, it takes two to create a divorce. You may have made some mistakes, and it is okay to recognize this. But you cannot live with the anchor of guilt around your neck, for the rest of your life. You have to put a period on this chapter of your life. Allow yourself time to grieve and to accept blame. Be honest with yourself about the things you did wrong. After you have been brutally honest with yourself, let it go. Move past it and move on.

3. It’s okay to be alone (and it can even be fun)

As you go through the process of divorce, you may not be ready for dating. That doesn’t mean you have to sit at home and be depressed. Go out with your friends and have fun. Do all the things you want to do. Better yet, enjoy being alone some. Binge on your favorite shows, stay in your grungy pj’s all day; eat with your fingers and sleep without worrying about snoring. Just do you. It is liberating!

4. Count your new blessings

Let’s face it…marriage comes with its baggage. In-laws! Doing things you don’t enjoy…walking on eggshells sometimes. Well, you are free now so really appreciate it. You don’t have to answer to anyone right now…that is a rare thing in life. Wallow in self-indulgence before you start dating again!

5. New goals!

Remember all those little pipe dreams you had before you got married? Well, now is the time to dust them off and give them a try. So what if they don’t work? There is no one to judge you or to even know. Go for it! Be silly and be yourself…your fun self.

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6. Better parenting

Often in a divorce, custody is shared which means you have time with your kids and time without them. This can be an advantage because when they are with their other parent, you can recharge your batteries. When they come home, you are excited to see them. Now, you can give them undivided attention and they won’t have to hear any arguments.

7. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Divorce is a difficult time, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Friends mean well but they are often too close to the situation to help. There are numerous counselors and programs that can help you navigate through life after divorce. Whether it is a pastor or a work-related program, there is help for you, and you are not alone.

8. Don’t isolate yourself

Sometimes we tend to pull away from everyone when we are hurting and let’s face it; divorce can do a number on your self-image. But you must fight these feeling and force yourself to get out and to engage with other people. It doesn’t have to be dating –it could just mean time with friends of the opposite sex.

9. Dating after divorce

Take your time with dating…make sure you are ready to give someone new a fair chance. You have to make peace with the past before moving on to something or someone new. Try to keep it light and fun…minimize your expectations and just enjoy yourself.

10. A new you

This is the perfect time to try new things. Get that new hairstyle you have always wanted…wear that outfit you have seen in the display window. Break out of the mold and try new things. You can be anyone you want. Right now, your only responsibility is to yourself and your children. When they are safe with their other parent, have a blast.

11. Minimize the impact for your children

Remember that your children did not have a vote in this change. It is up to you to show them how to handle change. Be positive and upbeat…embrace the changes in your new life. Whatever you do, don’t be negative about their other parent. Anything you say bad about your ex will only hurt your children. Let them see you two as still a united front…a parenting team. Divorce shouldn’t change that.

So, as you see, there is life after divorce, and it is up to you to make it great or make it horrible. You do have control over how you react to things. You can choose to let it all upset you, or you can use it to grow and improve things. It is not a life sentence…you won’t always think of yourself as “divorced.” It will become a part of your life, just as other things do.

In this day and time, divorce is more common than ever before. We don’t have to deal with the stigma that people in the past did. It is more accepted now, even with our children and their friends. But just because it is more accepted, doesn’t mean that it will be easy for you to accept. Give yourself time; forgive yourself and the other person and then begin to enjoy all the blessings you still have. Don’t waste time looking back because the future is bright and there is life after divorce!

Dating After Divorce – 10 Crucial Tips You Must Learn

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Dating after divorce can seem daunting and impossible. Once you have lived through a broken relationship and the ending of a marriage, it is easy to become bitter or jaded. You get married expecting it to last a lifetime and when it doesn’t, it is the painful-no matter who leaves who. The good thing to remember is that you are not alone in this situation; many people have lived through the ordeal of a divorce and gone on to find happiness again.

You don’t need to reinvent the wheel take the advice of friends who have walked this path before you. There are also many resources such as online articles, support groups, and counselors who are available to help you navigate this time in your life. Make sure you take advantage of all of these resources before you try the dating world again.

Here are some more tips to help you make the transition to dating after divorce:

10 Tips You Must Learn If You Want To Date After Divorce

 

1. Give yourself time to heal

The amount of time it takes for one to heal after a divorce is as different as the people involved. Some people roll with the punches while others need time to process the changes. The worst thing to do, however, is to jump right back into dating before you have healed from your divorce. You need time for closure and for hurts to heal.

2. Make sure you have a support system

This doesn’t mean that you have to go only on group dates. It just suggests that you have a solid group of friends who can be your cheerleaders and help you through the maze of dating. If you have someone objective to talk to, it helps you figure things out. It also creates a safety net for you when other people know where you are and who you are with…just in case you need something.

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3. Be positive

It is easy to fall into bashing the opposite sex after a divorce but try to avoid that way of thinking. A positive attitude creates what you are looking for. It also helps you to cope and to find humor in situations that are sometimes tricky. Try to see the world and other people as potential friends and that is what they will become.

4. Like yourself

Before you can find someone else to share your time with, you must like being with yourself. It is easy to get discouraged or down on yourself after a hurtful breakup. That is why you should take the time to heal and to learn to like yourself again. Put the blame and the unkind words in the past. You are great, and you have much to offer, but you can’t give that to someone else…until you have given it to yourself.

Learn: How Marriage pacts Work: Pros And Cons

5. Think outside the box

Dating after a divorce is the perfect time to reinvent yourself. Try a new hairdo or a new fashion style that you couldn’t when you were married. Get involved in new hobbies or groups that you would never have as a married person. You have free time now to try all sorts of new things.

6. Evaluate your “type”

After a divorce, you have the freedom to examine the qualities you want or need in a partner. You have learned some valuable lessons being married…things you like and don’t like about someone in your life. It is okay to make changes in who you date and adventure out. It is true that opposites often attract.

7. Patience

Many times after a divorce, we want to rush out and date someone just to show that we can still attract the opposite sex. Maybe you have something to prove to your ex or others. But this is just a trap. Take your time…there is no time limit or hurry to jump back into dating. Go out with lots of different people and explore life.

8. Talk to your kids

This is a huge consideration when you date after divorce. If you have children, no matter what age- your dating life will affect them. It may not affect them negatively but to be sure, you need to have an open discussion with them (based on their age) about the fact that you may go out. It will be difficult for them to see a parent go out with someone other than the other parent. One word of caution: do not take every person you date to meet your children.

Keep it separate until you are serious with someone. Let your kids have space at your home that is private for a while, where they can be themselves. There will be time for introductions if your dating becomes long term. Put the children first. They did not have a choice in the divorce, and they deserve your undivided attention sometimes.

9. Start with a new slate

As hard as it may be, don’t begin a dating relationship with the past hanging over your head like a dark cloud. Make peace with what has happened and don’t go into a new friendship, looking for trouble. This is a new person in your life that should not have to pay for your ex’s mistakes. Also, avoid constantly talking about your failed marriage. There will be a time and place to do it but then close that book and move on.

10. Catch up

One very practical thing to consider when dating after divorce is that things may have changed since you last dated. Depending on how long you were married, you may be out of the dating loop. Whether it is online dating or new rules for daters, you need to catch up. Spend some time with some single friends who can clue you in.

Dating after divorce can be a daunting task. So, in the end, it is really up to you to determine if you are ready to date after divorce. Every person is different, and there aren’t any right or wrong answers. You need to give yourself time to heal and don’t feel pressured to date or anything else. Live your life and do what’s best for you and your family. Never fear…there is life after divorce!

10 Best Marriage Proposal Ideas That Will Make Any Women Happy

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Are you looking for marriage proposal ideas? A marriage proposal is a momentous event in a couple’s journey. As social media and other technology capture special moments, the pressure is on for the man to find a creative way to propose. Of course, there is nothing wrong with the traditional proposal, either. Some women are fine with the down on one knee question while others are looking for something unique.

Before you think about what proposal ideas you will carry out, there are a few other things to consider first. Make sure that your significant other is on the same page as you are. If your girlfriend regularly declares that she is “never getting married,” a proposal (no matter how great) will not change her mind. You should be in tune with the relationship. Also, you need to be ready, as well. Proposing marriage is not to be taken lightly. This should be a lifetime commitment, so put some thought into what it means to be married.

Some families insist on the groom to be asking the parents’ permission before a proposal. While you may consider this old-fashioned, you don’t want to get off on the wrong foot with your in-laws.

10 Best Proposal Ideas You Should Know

 

1) Using things she loves to propose

If your special girl loves books and reading, you can design your proposal around them. There are artist types who can cut the edges of ( copy) of her favorite book to read, “Marry me.” You could also highlight the “love” passage (I Corinthians 13) in the Bible with a note at the bottom. How about making a path with all of her favorite books that lead to you holding a sign that asks her to marry you?

2) You can use pets to ask the special question

You can use pets to ask the special question. If you have a cat or dog, you can attach a note to their collar that says, “Will you marry us?” If your pet is trained, you could get Fido to bring a package with a ring inside and have him “kneel” with you as you propose.

3) Surprise girl at her job

Some girls are workaholics, and they would love to be surprised at their job. You can rearrange the keys on her keyboard to read, “Marry me?” If she is a teacher, enlist the help of her class using signs that spell out the magic question. If you have the time and post-it notes, spell out the question on the bulletin board at work.

4) Write the question on her favorite mug

Is your beloved a coffee fanatic? Use this to your advantage and write the question on the bottom of her favorite mug with a sharpie. (Just make sure the right person reads the note.) Or you could spell it out on her stirring spoon. If you are going to propose at a favorite restaurant, you could go early and provide a distinctive white plate with the question written in. With the restaurant’s help, she will find the message underneath her gourmet meal. M and M candies provide personalization if you want to go that route.

5) Propose privately

If you would like a more private proposal, you can always use the magnets on your refrigerator to spell out the big question. The shower curtain is also a different place to write a message. If the two of you like board games, you can have a special Scrabble piece made that asks her to be yours.

6) Do the proposal at the beach

If you are looking for a grander gesture, you can use a wide expanse of land. Write your question in the sand at the beach, take a picture and have a canvas made of it. Or if you are a farmer, use your imagination to write with your crop circles.

7) Use her favorite season and flowers to propose to her

Think about her favorite season or a special time of the year that you two celebrate. You could carve pumpkins with a “Marry Me?” message. Or Christmas lights can spell out almost anything in December. Christmas ornaments can be personalized to say anything. For spring, you can use flowers to get your message across and in the summer, driftwood at the beach works great.

8) Make the proposal in front of a big crowd

Many people want to make their proposal in front of a crowd. If that is your style, consider graduation, concert or parade…the sky is the limit. Use your imagination to impress her in front of the multitudes. Plan your big moment carefully so it goes off without a hitch.

9) Use fun imagination

Some other great marriage proposal ideas include a barbershop quartet to serenade her with the question. A room filled with balloons that she has to pop to find the ring and the question is a unique way to request her hand. How about stopping at a festival to have the two of you pose for a caricature. When the artist turns the picture around, it has you asking the question.

10) Be sentimental when you propose

If you want to be sentimental, buy her a beautiful locket with the words inscribed inside; or have a fortune cookie made with “Will you marry me?” Have a group of friends helps you propose with signs on a rollercoaster or at a football game.

No matter how you decide to pop the question, make sure you have someone (secretly) taking pictures of the magic moment. You will want to remember this forever, so it is worth it to pay someone or have a buddy there to capture it. The most important thing about a proposal is that it comes from your heart, and it shows that you put some thought and planning into it.

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The above marriage proposal ideas work for any women just make sure you use your own imagination and make it fun. Every girl dreams of being proposed to, just about as much as she dreams of her wedding day. It falls to the man to make her dreams come true. You don’t need a lot of money or fancy accessories…it just needs to be thoughtful, romantic and special. Don’t let other people put pressure on you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable with. Follow your heart and things will work out correctly. After all, this particular time is ultimately about you and your girl.

What is a Marriage Pact : Pros And Cons You Must Know

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What is a marriage pact? Marriage pacts have been around for quite a while. The definition of a marriage pact is an arrangement made between two friends that if they aren’t married by a specific age, they will marry each other. While many of these pacts are seen as a joke, some people take them seriously. Do they work? Who does them?

Reasons Why Most People Do Marriage Pact

 

You can use the pact idea to set up the child with another

Making a pact concerning marriage has been around as long as marriage. In Bible times, babies were betrothed to each other by their parents. This is a form of a marriage pact. Also, arranged marriages use the pact idea to set up the child with another.

Marriage pacts can be with a group of friends who are in school

More often, you see marriage pacts come up with a group of friends who are in school together. As they look toward their future, they jokingly want a backup plan. They reach out to a friend who they like, but not romantically and they ask for a pledge. If we reach 30, and we aren’t married, we will marry each other.

People Fear to Be Alone Sometimes

The reason most people would make a pact is that they fear to be alone. They want to believe they will grow up, marry and have a wonderful life. But what if they don’t? Making a marriage pact can give them a sense of security.

Fate can bring  the two of you together

Some people who believe in a marriage pact say that it could be fate that brings them together, or it is better to marry a friend than a stranger. 26% of people in a recent poll said they thought a marriage pact is a good idea.

Arranged marriages due to culture or religion have proven to be successful

Researchers have found that some forms of marriage pacts have been shown to work. Arranged marriages due to culture or religion have proven to be successful. Two people who share common core beliefs and values have a better chance of making the marriage work.

Friends who fall in love and get married are destined

Friends who fall in love and get married are destined to have a good marriage. If you know someone well and have a history with them, you are better prepared for marriage. A friendship can see you through the difficult times and help you enjoy the good ones. The sad fact is that even if you marry your best friend, there is no guarantee that your commitment will last forever.

Sometimes life is funny and you may end up with that person

If you find yourself a part of a marriage pact, whether it would be a joke or serious, just remember that sometimes life is funny and you may end up with that person. Just make sure the two of you have a solid friendship and that you like them. You don’t want to have the whole thing come back in the future and cause you regrets.

One of the things that sparked the debate over marriage pacts again was the movie, “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” Not to give the plot away but in this movie, two friends found themselves with different ideas of a marriage pact. When this movie came out, the stories of marriage pacts started being published.

Why Shouldn’t You Do marriage pact?

 

Believe in yourself and your ability

You do not need a marriage pact to provide reassurance. You must believe in yourself and your ability to handle any situation. You should be self-reliant and not depend on other people to make you happy. Independence can be rewarding as well. Either way, you must trust yourself.

Pacts can come back to haunt a person

Sometimes these pacts can come back to haunt a person. There was a person who wrote about this is an online blog. She said that she made a marriage pact with a friend in the 8th grade. Their agreement was that if they weren’t married by 35, they would marry each other. She went on to live her life and forget it. However, when she was 36, the young man found her on Facebook. He was single, and she was going through a divorce. He wanted to honor the pact, but she was not in the least bit interested. The situation turned into a stalker type nightmare.

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Be careful with marriage people change and have troubled lives

You should be careful, even when you are young, about making a marriage pact. Some people change and have troubled lives. You don’t want them to come looking for you later in life. Parents should even warn their children about such things.

Some people say it’s not right to force feeling

People who do not believe in the pact say it is not right to force feelings or to go into a marriage commitment without love being involved.

It might not be a good idea to force a contract into it

Marriage on its own is difficult so it may not be a good idea to force a contract into it. You should marry someone because you love them, not because of a long-ago promise.

Know the ground rules before you do marriage pacts
Experts who advise about marriage pacts do outline some ground rules. They say it is important to detail the agreement once marriage is considered. Both of you should have a clear idea of what is expected in the marriage. Having a way out sometimes cements the commitment because the two people don’t feel trapped.

So, if you are contemplating a pact with your best friend about marriage, don’t take it too lightly. You want to make sure you like this person and you trust them to a certain point. You might also want to have an escape clause in the pact, just in case they turn out to be a stalker. Marriage is a serious commitment, and while we may joke about it, some people take it to heart. A nice guy or girl now could turn into someone completely different in the future.

The best bet is probably just to wait and find your future mate, the old-fashioned way…by meeting them. You don’t want to be forced into a lifelong commitment with someone you aren’t attracted to. Just trust in yourself and fate to find your future spouse and you won’t have to worry about an old marriage pact.

Whichever way you decide to go; the most important thing is to take marriage seriously. It is good to have a sense of humor but take the business of marriage soberly. Trust yourself and you will not need a marriage pact for security. You can and will handle whatever circumstances you find yourself in.