There is an old saying that states something to the effect that it is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. This adage has survived through the years because it has a grain of truth in it. Some women feel this gives them permission to be indecisive or to change their mind in the middle of the process.
What’s a man need to do if he is in a relationship with a girl who can’t make her mind up…about anything? Although these tips won’t work in every situation, there are some things to try if you find yourself with a wishy-washy female.
Men and women are different
This may seem like a no-brainer, but you would be surprised at the guys who haven’t figured this out yet. They attempt to talk to their girlfriend as they would a buddy. That isn’t going to work with today’s women. They are independent, smart and sassy. She may be a top-notch office manager in her day to day career, but she can’t make up her mind about where to go for dinner. The conversation goes back and forth like, “What do you want?” “I don’t know, what to do you want?” You need to discover your girl’s language.
Unlike men, women process everything through analysis. They go back and forth, trying out each option like a pair of shoes. Then, they study the option and decide to have ice cream before they make a final decision. If you want to speed up the decision making – just stay quiet. The more you say, the more she has to analyze. Don’t confuse her with rationality. If you ever hear two girls talking, you realize they have their language with hidden meaning. So, just listen.
10 Things you must know when a woman can’t make up her mind
When a woman tells you the options she is considering, she doesn’t want your advice. She needs you to agree with her and she might not need you to fix anything or come up with ideas. She just needs you to nod your head in agreement with everything she says. Honestly, you can keep watching the ballgame as long as you look in her direction once in a while and nod.
Patience is your best friend
There is something in a woman’s DNA that causes her to react badly if you try and pressure her into a decision. Whether she is trying to decide what to wear or if she wants to break up- do not demand a decision. This will not go well for you. She may even start over at the beginning of the decision if you say the wrong thing. Women do not like to be told what to do.
Don’t get exasperate
If you want a quick decision…do not ask about whatever it is. Don’t bring it up; don’t get exasperated and pick a fight. Just act like you have forgotten all about it. Of course, this may be challenging if you are driving and she can’t make up her mind where she wants to go, but be strong! Just keep turning left as she tries to decide…she will wonder why you haven’t asked her more than once and this will shock her into a decision…maybe.
Don’t worry- if you learn patience when you are dating you are preparing yourself for many years of wedded bliss as you celebrate many important decisions, she will put off. You will learn to drive slower, speak less and nap with your eyes open as you wait for her to decide.
Give her space
If you find yourself in a situation where your girlfriend is pondering the future and whether you will be in hers give her space. Even women like a little chase, so as she tries to decide what to do- you can do some buddy time. Once she sees that you aren’t pressuring her or stressing about it, she is likely to decide you aren’t so bad after all.
Find out where her head is in the relationship
There is a time when you should not pop the question, and that is before you lay the groundwork. If you are thinking of asking for a real commitment from your girlfriend, spend some time finding out where her head is in the relationship. Have the two of you talked about a future? If you attempt to box her in about your future together, she is likely to come out swinging. The more you pressure her – the fewer decisions she will make and the whole mess will backfire on you.
Ask her open-ended questions
If you are trying to get, your girl to make a decision about something ask her open-ended questions that she will have to elaborate to answer. This will give you an insight into what she is feeling and thinking. Sometimes, simple questions can clarify everything.
Don’t be to indecisive
Women are attracted to confident men. The best way to turn a girl off is by being indecisive. This sounds like a double standard and it probably is, but girls want you to make decisions quickly and accurately. Of course, she may not like your decision or give you ten reasons why it is a wrong decision, but secretly, she will admire your moxie. No, this is not fair but as Dr. Phil says, “Do you want to be right…or happy?”
Ask her opinion on things
Check yourself to make sure you are giving your lady a fair chance to make decisions. Ask her opinion on things; it will lead to an hour-long conversation as she weighs the pros and cons. Don’t just talk to her but give her space to speak.
Are you supportive of her when she struggles to make decisions about things other than you? When is struggling with a work problem, do you listen or read the paper? Again, women don’t want you to come up with an answer…they just want to be heard. Women like to say things out loud to process them…that’s why a group of girls can sit and talk all night. You don’t see men doing that…they are more of a grunt and point problem solvers.
Learn from the coach
If all else fails…move on.
As hard as it is to admit sometimes, not all relationships are meant to be. If you have given it your best try and she is still undecided about your future, it is time to move on. While women do tend to change their mind often, she should not be that much confusion about her feelings.
Don’t throw in the towel immediately because sometimes patience does win out. At the same time, do not become a doormat. Some questions are answered by the silence. If she has to consider and reconsider something as important as your relationship, that is not a good sign.
Don’t be discouraged if this girl wasn’t the right one for you. There truly are girls out there who can make decisions and know what and who they want. Just because you have a bad experience with a flip-flop girl doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness.
So, as you can see- every girl is different, and you don’t want to stereotype them all as indecisive. What fun would it be, anyway, if men and women were just alike? The differences complement each other and let’s face it…makes your life interesting. Just buckle in and enjoy the ride!