There are many articles and advice from friends and family about the subject of how to know if you love someone, especially early into the new romance. Some people say you fall in love, some say you grow into love, or that love is really not much different from eating your favorite chocolate.
Some say there is a psychological condition where some people just love to be in love, like an addiction. If you are someone who is truly romantic and want to know if you love someone, below you will find some signs to look for that can act as a guideline.
6 Great Signs you’re in love
Before we start the list, there are a couple of underlying principles to apply when doing your analysis. That principle says that you never “unlove” someone. Once you love someone you will always love them. The other is that the love, realized or unrealized, is reciprocated.
You should have a good sense of how the other person feels about you. In fact, the case is being made that you will not really love someone unless you believe there is a reasonable chance of your love being reciprocated. If not, then what you believe to be love may be more of an obsession or intense attraction to the other person. We can now begin.
1. You always want to be with them. Always.
During good times and bad, even after your worst fight. Some people will dismiss this saying that you have a problem because you are obsessed with the person or somehow co-dependent. To address this superficial criticism all you have to do is to ask yourself whether you want to be with the other person out of choice instead of obligation. Always wanting to be with someone is not being clingy, it is being in love.
The reverse side of the point is to ask why you would not want to be with the other person. We are not talking about being locked in a jail cell 24 hours a day. Having to answer the question, “Who else would you want to be with?” can be a bit uncomfortable. Women tend to be more family and socially-oriented, so they need time to gaggle with the girls. It’s not that men aren’t social creatures, just not so much. It is only common sense that if the other person is not spending time with you they are spending it with someone else. When you love someone it is natural that they are your first choice.
2. You always think about them.
This sign is not a choice but more of mental compulsion. If people say that you are obsessing, there is nothing wrong with some temporary obsessing over a person. Everyone obsesses over something on a regular basis, whether it is when they will be leaving work, looking forward to going to a concert, or thinking about who is going to win the Super Bowl. Maybe the problem is we believe it is OK to obsess over things, but not people. A healthy obsession is a clear signal you are in love.
3. You buy the other personalized gifts.
Here is a sign that people do naturally and in many cases, unconsciously. They buy the other person a gift or cancel a visit with their best friend to be with you. Though it is not commonly thought about, the underlying idea here is sacrifice. You are willing to give up something that is important to you (money, time, etc.) and don’t expect to get anything in return for it.
This is the first (there are others) demonstrated action that takes your words and puts them into action. What to look for with sacrifice is whether it has a sinister motive (exchanging time for sex) or is used to manipulate the other person to be with you. If it has these types of motives then you really aren’t sacrificing anything, just exchanging one thing for another.
4. You try to demonstrate your love.
Speaking of acts of demonstrated love, this may be the most definitive way how to know if you love someone – you write them letters. Naturally, emails are considered letters writing here, but writing a letter has several qualities about it that demonstrate your love goes beyond feelings. It has to be noted here that feelings are definitely a part of love, so letter writing should be considered as an extension of your feelings.
The fact that you are voluntarily putting your feelings down as a record for everyone to see extends love to what can be interpreted as written proof of your love. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare. In fact, the best love letters are those that have distinct awkwardness because you will want very few people to know what you are feeling. Referring back to an earlier point, a love letter is a sign that you are not always thinking about the other person, but thinking about them deeply.
5. You try to present your best self.
Do you remember your first date? Most of us, go through a lot of trouble to make a good first dating impression. Women dress to look their best, and men work hard to be on their best non-Neanderthal behavior. Both men and women shave various parts of their bodies to look nice. Many first dates go well, but often feelings begin to fade because people eventually will revert to real selves and the first-date, first-impression preparation sinks into the sunset.
The reason is that it is hard to be ourselves all the time. If we like someone we don’t want them to know we don’t like shaving every day or there are times we are almost impossible to please. When you are in love you overlook the faults in favor of being with the other person. The reality is that if you love someone overlooking their faults and being yourself go hand-in-hand. Why? Because common sense tells you that it is only fair that your acceptance of their faults will allow them to accept your faults, and open your heart, allowing you to be yourself.
6. You want to share the same language.
These are words and body language that is exclusive to only yourself and the other person. You can publicly talk to the other person normally with these queues inserted and nobody will know the difference – or what you are talking about. One couple developed a code for making plans to spend the weekend at a hotel. The code was “814” which happened to be the room number of the first hotel they stayed at. So when they talked about an 814 it was clear to the other person what the plan was.
During arguments, people will often insert a sarcastic word or phrase to emphasize a point. For example, if a woman says “Yes, dear.” it often is understood to mean she feels controlled. But you can use the same thing to positively, and secretly, communicate with the other person. Why is this a sign of love? Because there will be very few people you will do this with.
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